Life is funny, when you want friends around or need friends around, the barrel of friends is relatively empty...Then you make a consertive effort to make friends and it feels like your'e on the dating scene again. Then you have an abundance of friends and life gets a bit busy. You grow up, partener up and have kids...
You don't mean to neglect friends but as you progress through life...it becomes super busy. You mean to connect, you mean to update, you mean to email, visit, text, and any other form of communication to keep the line of friendship open. But, life gets busy!
I was saying to my husband the other day, its funny this very kind, friendly lady suggested we get together and have a play date with the kids...in my head I was like where were you when I needed you...but my friendship quota is full now so I don't actually have time for a new friendship...hmmmm
That does sound mean, but its really maths in a way. You add another couple to the friendship rota and you have to take away time from your current friendship rota, which is already quite thin, this is irrespective of the very little time you have to be just the family.
I know alot of people love to have a multitude of friends, but quite frankly I like just enough to keep me busy for the next couple of weekends and allow a weekend or two inbetween for family time.
Not to be a bad friend, but rather to be a good friend...my quota is full...for now.
Does that make me a bad friend?
Serene Motherhood...
Showing posts with label Serene Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Serene Friendship. Show all posts
Sunday, 7 October 2012
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
Exhausted enough to have friends...
I love having friends who have kids too, its always a great time to sit and come together with what you and your Littley's week has been like. OK, lets not kid ourselves, its not like that, its more work...but hey you wouldn't have it any other way.
So I'm following on from my last post "confessions of a mother", you know the story about the poop...need I say more. Well I decided it was my turn to reciprocate the gesture of inviting them to our house...
How is it when you have planned everything to a tee, you really haven't. The evening started...I'd like to say great...but it didn't I'd put out the toys and snacks about 5 min before they all arrived and would you believe a 12kg munchkin can make a tornado of a mess in that time...so much for showing off my house.
I started in the kitchen, thinking I could escape at some point to join the conversation, NO! I escaped 3 hours later and only to clean up my brothers shirt and my Littley, as she had had so much fun and food with the other couples child, with all the running around, the gentle pat of love from my brother broke the camels back, and way hey, projectile vomit!!!
EWWWWW!!! Bro does not have kids, so this was not a nice warm gooey feeling he was having.
Right, run the bath, console baby, clean chunks from clothes, wash hands finish meal, have husband come ask to check meat!!!???!!! WTF, are you kidding, check your frigging meat! I'm in the middle of a crisis! Truly unbelievable!
Right babe in bath, brother clothed, husband taken care of, now to relax...UH NO!!! Silly me, I'm a mum, enjoying the company of others, I don't get to relax, when will I get this through my brain.
Everyone goes home, baby asleep time for bed, did I enjoy myself? Yes I actually did, I would do anything for friends in the same boat, Littley slept through the night because she had so much fun, we are continuing to build friendships and ...well hmmmm that's it really, I actually thought there was more to it, but no, there isn't.
My advice, go to a restaurant that caters for kids, specifically ones that have people you can pay to play with them, in your line of sight, even better.
Serene Motherhood...
So I'm following on from my last post "confessions of a mother", you know the story about the poop...need I say more. Well I decided it was my turn to reciprocate the gesture of inviting them to our house...
How is it when you have planned everything to a tee, you really haven't. The evening started...I'd like to say great...but it didn't I'd put out the toys and snacks about 5 min before they all arrived and would you believe a 12kg munchkin can make a tornado of a mess in that time...so much for showing off my house.
I started in the kitchen, thinking I could escape at some point to join the conversation, NO! I escaped 3 hours later and only to clean up my brothers shirt and my Littley, as she had had so much fun and food with the other couples child, with all the running around, the gentle pat of love from my brother broke the camels back, and way hey, projectile vomit!!!
EWWWWW!!! Bro does not have kids, so this was not a nice warm gooey feeling he was having.
Right, run the bath, console baby, clean chunks from clothes, wash hands finish meal, have husband come ask to check meat!!!???!!! WTF, are you kidding, check your frigging meat! I'm in the middle of a crisis! Truly unbelievable!
Right babe in bath, brother clothed, husband taken care of, now to relax...UH NO!!! Silly me, I'm a mum, enjoying the company of others, I don't get to relax, when will I get this through my brain.
Everyone goes home, baby asleep time for bed, did I enjoy myself? Yes I actually did, I would do anything for friends in the same boat, Littley slept through the night because she had so much fun, we are continuing to build friendships and ...well hmmmm that's it really, I actually thought there was more to it, but no, there isn't.
My advice, go to a restaurant that caters for kids, specifically ones that have people you can pay to play with them, in your line of sight, even better.
Serene Motherhood...
Friday, 25 May 2012
A friend indeed...
There are many "must haves" in our life, but one that I "must have" is a good friend who I can bend an ear with.
About 2 weekends ago, it was Mothers day, and as much as I would love to celebrate this day, my husband and I have concluded that in our life these days will not be celebrated as we celebrate them everyday...cliched or what! So now I've made it to Mommy kingdom, I feel there needs to be some sort of celebration for everything I manage to do unaided (which by the way is literally a celebration each day cos I did it again without losing it). Things like being vomited on and managing to stay strong for the sake of my Littley, for doing a 2 hour bed time routine EVERYDAY!!! without help. For waking up 3/4 times a night and then doing a full days work. Yes, this is a celebration...damn girl you did it!
Anyway as I was saying, 2 weekends ago it was Mothers day, and I happen to have a friend who was in my predicament, so we decided to take ourselves to Pappachino's to celebrate Mothers day together with our Littleys because the guys were too busy doing things!!! ON MOTHERS FREAKING DAY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
As much as I want to be a strong person and not share my most inner irritations about my life and where its going I realise that going without talking about it is quite damaging. You start to spiral out of control and then you can't see the wood through the trees. That is why you need a friend, not to sit and bitch and moan about how bad your life is, but to bitch and moan and then offer each other some sound positive advice. Now if we had to offer this same conversation to our husbands we would get a totally different reaction. Mostly a reaction you don't want to hear or deal with, that is where a friend comes in.
We made a promise to each other not to leave it so long before we see each other, as with our busy lives we tend to see each other about twice a year. So I definitely won't leave it too long next time, in fact I'm going to give her a call now.
To conclude, if you are having lots of thoughts swimming around your head and you just need them to settle, go get your besty and bend their ear until you are satisfied everything is off your chest and you have a clear purpose going forward, you'll be surprised what a chat can do for the soul.
Serene Motherhood...
About 2 weekends ago, it was Mothers day, and as much as I would love to celebrate this day, my husband and I have concluded that in our life these days will not be celebrated as we celebrate them everyday...cliched or what! So now I've made it to Mommy kingdom, I feel there needs to be some sort of celebration for everything I manage to do unaided (which by the way is literally a celebration each day cos I did it again without losing it). Things like being vomited on and managing to stay strong for the sake of my Littley, for doing a 2 hour bed time routine EVERYDAY!!! without help. For waking up 3/4 times a night and then doing a full days work. Yes, this is a celebration...damn girl you did it!
Anyway as I was saying, 2 weekends ago it was Mothers day, and I happen to have a friend who was in my predicament, so we decided to take ourselves to Pappachino's to celebrate Mothers day together with our Littleys because the guys were too busy doing things!!! ON MOTHERS FREAKING DAY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
As much as I want to be a strong person and not share my most inner irritations about my life and where its going I realise that going without talking about it is quite damaging. You start to spiral out of control and then you can't see the wood through the trees. That is why you need a friend, not to sit and bitch and moan about how bad your life is, but to bitch and moan and then offer each other some sound positive advice. Now if we had to offer this same conversation to our husbands we would get a totally different reaction. Mostly a reaction you don't want to hear or deal with, that is where a friend comes in.
We made a promise to each other not to leave it so long before we see each other, as with our busy lives we tend to see each other about twice a year. So I definitely won't leave it too long next time, in fact I'm going to give her a call now.
To conclude, if you are having lots of thoughts swimming around your head and you just need them to settle, go get your besty and bend their ear until you are satisfied everything is off your chest and you have a clear purpose going forward, you'll be surprised what a chat can do for the soul.
Serene Motherhood...
Saturday, 19 May 2012
History of friends...
Tonight we were invited to join some friends at their house for an early dinner and kiddie play time. We've just come home and I've been thinking about how enjoyable and relaxing the evening was. It got me thinking about how strange it is to think how we have evolved so much in the space of a couple of years and the different friendships we have made and been through.
Thinking about when you are young and in highschool, you tend to veer towards what you think are good friends to have. It all depends on what you are interested in whether it was break times in the bathroom playing warcraft, sitting on the bleaches watching all the boys play Russian roulette, sitting in the courtyard twirling your hair and handing around a lollipop thats seen more then its share of mouths, quietly sitting in a dark room perfecting black and white photos or volunteering to be the lunch time librarian. Regardless of where you were you were trying to fit in.
When you moved into your tertiary education friendship took on a whole new meaning. The average varsity or college student tended to live in res where there was some sort of comradery, all gatherings took place in some sort of club and alcohol was always flowing...till the wee hours of the morning. Somehow your body managed to cope with the abundance of alcohol and sleep deprivation...ironically this is the time in your life where you will be trying to pass and get through school to persue a life of success.
Moving into your first job role, you tend to revert back to your highschool years, where you are searching for the group you feel you will be comfortable to hang with. Coincidently if we thought that school kids gossiped, you didn't realise the world of gossip you were entering in when you start work. Friends tended to be out and about painting the town red, freedom of choice was abundant and it was a great time to loosen the reigns and really exercise the boundaries of choice. Life was generally good, and like your tertiary years it tended to have a great mix of alcohol.
As you mature you probably found someone to share your life with, you also start moving up the ranks and now going out during the week tends to be a thing of the past, as responsibilities creep in, early beds are the order of the day. Maby weekend night outs are kept to just that ...the weekend.
You are now responsible for little people, an other half and your career. Your bed time ritual is a combination of dinner, TV and bed. You tend to limit your nights out and start to really enjoy friends who just want to do early dinner, with a glass of wine, which tends to be on the weekend.
I do often miss my early twenties, but I know I can't keep up with the life I used to lead. I much prefer a dinner party where I can hear the company I'm in, instead of trying to holler into the ear of a friend and walk out the club hard of hearing from the ridiculously loud music and hoarse from screaming a conversation. Give me an early night any day. This way I can enjoy time with my family without regretting the night before.
I believe we meet people along the way, that will help teach us to find and understand the people we like to be. Enjoy your friends and choose them wisely.
Thinking about when you are young and in highschool, you tend to veer towards what you think are good friends to have. It all depends on what you are interested in whether it was break times in the bathroom playing warcraft, sitting on the bleaches watching all the boys play Russian roulette, sitting in the courtyard twirling your hair and handing around a lollipop thats seen more then its share of mouths, quietly sitting in a dark room perfecting black and white photos or volunteering to be the lunch time librarian. Regardless of where you were you were trying to fit in.
When you moved into your tertiary education friendship took on a whole new meaning. The average varsity or college student tended to live in res where there was some sort of comradery, all gatherings took place in some sort of club and alcohol was always flowing...till the wee hours of the morning. Somehow your body managed to cope with the abundance of alcohol and sleep deprivation...ironically this is the time in your life where you will be trying to pass and get through school to persue a life of success.
Moving into your first job role, you tend to revert back to your highschool years, where you are searching for the group you feel you will be comfortable to hang with. Coincidently if we thought that school kids gossiped, you didn't realise the world of gossip you were entering in when you start work. Friends tended to be out and about painting the town red, freedom of choice was abundant and it was a great time to loosen the reigns and really exercise the boundaries of choice. Life was generally good, and like your tertiary years it tended to have a great mix of alcohol.
As you mature you probably found someone to share your life with, you also start moving up the ranks and now going out during the week tends to be a thing of the past, as responsibilities creep in, early beds are the order of the day. Maby weekend night outs are kept to just that ...the weekend.
You are now responsible for little people, an other half and your career. Your bed time ritual is a combination of dinner, TV and bed. You tend to limit your nights out and start to really enjoy friends who just want to do early dinner, with a glass of wine, which tends to be on the weekend.
I do often miss my early twenties, but I know I can't keep up with the life I used to lead. I much prefer a dinner party where I can hear the company I'm in, instead of trying to holler into the ear of a friend and walk out the club hard of hearing from the ridiculously loud music and hoarse from screaming a conversation. Give me an early night any day. This way I can enjoy time with my family without regretting the night before.
I believe we meet people along the way, that will help teach us to find and understand the people we like to be. Enjoy your friends and choose them wisely.
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