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Sunday 20 May 2012

Confessions of a mother...

If you have a delicate stomach, hate reading about poop or currently eating, then stop and go to one of my other posts, this is a confession about poop...

You would like to think of your little ones as an extension of yourself, difficult to believe but you do.  So when they do things unintentionally but equally as embarrassing you just want the earth to open up and swallow you.

Well such an occurrence has just happened, actually 3 of them.  It all began last night when we were invited to a friends house for dinner and our two Littley's were going to bath together.  So we did the undressing ritual, and then two little bodies were frantically running around the house, you know the bath time chase...

Littleys in hand we get them in the bath, now bear in mind this is the first time we're at their mansion of a house, in their bath.  Well Littley gives out a yelp, I run in and there they are looking at this nugget of a poop...die, earth swallow me...quick!  Well minutes before my friend was saying how her little one loves to drink from this one cup whilst in the bath, well I believe that cup is now being burnt as we had to use it to fish out the poop...die, earth you're taking your time, I said swallow me...now!  Bear in mind my Littley is 20 months old and in all that time that she has been alive she has never had a poop in the bath, but now we go to a friends house and wham bam, here's your thank you gift for the evening.  And then to top it off, my friend's little one is there sipping up the water...and of course her mum is trying to play it cool, dammit earth I told you to freaking swallow me already!

Ok on to embarrassment number two.  So my little one, two weeks ago got gastro, we had to rush her to the doctors and got caught up in 45min traffic, with all the stop starting she couldn't contain herself and pro ceded to heave chunks all over me...3 times, there's my husband dry heaving...I could kill him, contain yourself man, I'm the one with the chunks.  So we get to the doctors and go and stand in line for the prescription, Littley throws a temper tantrum if I move a meter from Papa, so I have to stand rather close to him.  This guy approaches him on the side and whispers "dude, can you smell...uh..like puke?" My husband confidently answers his question "uh, yeah, its my wife" and points to my direction, there I am dripping in chunks from head to toe, not my finest hour...and of course I had vomit l'eau odour for 2 hours...you know how slow doctors and pharmacies can be!

Number 3, this is not for the faint hearted, I warned you.  I was a fairly new mummy, Littley was 1 month old, so she still had that little baby poop.  I was busy getting her into a nappy and the nappy dropped, so I stooped to pick it up and as I did, Littley farted, sneezed and pooped all at the same time, well you can imagine what I looked like, of course I screamed for Papa to come up and as he casually came up then realised what had happened and then went into frantic mode...of course he was not concerned about me, he was very concerned about the new carpet we had just put in...

So now I'm 20 months down the line, and no you don't get used to being the sick poop rag...it's still gross and I try and avoid it with every fibre in my body...nevertheless I still love my Littley and if it means she feels loved and protected whilst fluids need to be removed, I'll do it in a heart beat.  Love is really disgusting sometimes, but worth the feeling of thanks from your little ones in their hour of need.

I would love to know that I'm not the only one, getting down and dirty with my Littley, so please I would love to hear your stories, whether you're a mother, aunt, granny etc. I'd love for you to share your stories on this post...

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