I've not had much time to sit and blog as I've been super busy at work, dealing with a sick Littley and making a life altering decision.
I am married to a wonderful husband, the love my daughter and I get from this man is immeasurable, but with every marriage there are flaws. Its how we deal with them that will determine the outcome of these flaws.
The flaw that I have in my marriage is...support...I have a husband who has been brought up very differently to me. My parents always supported every decision my brother and I made about our lives, whether it changed several times in one day or whether it changed every 5 years. My husband, on the other hand, grew up with no support from his parents, their philosophy in life was that you needed to prove yourself first.
Now I'm not saying either of us were brought up the right way, but it does make things more difficult. I've known my other half for 12 years, married 7years. And it has taken me 11 years to come to the realisation that I am not going to get support from my husband, that I need to provide support and belief to myself. And due to this, I have abandoned many dreams due to the fact that I was not given the support and belief that I can achieve my dreams. This has been very difficult to do as I always leaned on someone for support, and as much as I want to point the finger to my husband for my failures or lack of trying to achieve my dreams, I can't blame him, because it was my decision to abandon my dreams due to a lack of support, therefore in essence he has taught me that I am quite capable of standing on my own two feet and doing something about the areas in my life I'm not happy in.
So just to give you a bit of insight. I have travelled a career pathway that has lead me into a very well paid, good title, good flexi time job. However, I am not happy. I am not challenged. I have reached my pinnacle. I am now looking to change my career pathway at the age of 32. This is very scary. The problem I face is that my husband and I are reliant on my salary to continue the life we are used to, so that means he is not interested in risk...I can't quit my job and go after my dreams.
Well, the "me" two years ago would have just let it be. The "me" now, is studying on limited financial aid. Building a portfolio, researching, analysing and making contacts for the day that I make my grand entrance into my new career pathway. My husband is not keen, but when I prove to him that I did not need his help and that I am quite capable of achieving what I set out to do, that will be a great moment for me.
My mother always said never relie on a man, you are quite capable in achieving your dreams on your own.
Why did it take me 32 years to realise this...