Friday, 11 May 2012

Guilt riddled working mum...

Stilettos...check, suit...check, Bobbi Brown red lips...check, sanity...doubtful, working mum ready to board plane...check, Littley's melting face, unable to comprehend the need for a mothers monthly abandonment...hmmmm, check.

Why is there so much emotion involved in being a working mum, daily guilt envelopes your mind.  Whether its guilt over the loss of time you and your child have with each other, or did you sugar quote that intense email to your peer enough.  Time is precious so do we sit and worry over the lost time from your child, the fact that you can't seem to have even the smallest part of your house in order, or whether your efforts at work are enough for people to back off and stay as far away from you as possible.

Everyday I get in my car and I search and I analyse on how I can make a better, more fulfilling, less demanding life for myself and my child...I ask is there such a life?

Why am I not content with the life I have created right here, everyday riddled with guilt over other people, this sickness needs to end.  Before Littley came along, unless we were friends I didn't really give two seconds about your feelings, the job needed to be done, now Littley's here emotion burns through my veins and days go by when I am so nice people think I'm a push over.  Heaven forbid my twin(the single gal with no kids) should come out and upset and shock people, when all along "she's usually so nice". 

I'm not sure what the answer is, I'm still searching...

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